Come with me, my friends, on a journey to a place that brings joy, pain, wisdom, and love to the bones of the weary priestess.

Somewhere in the woods, could be any woods, but these are the Connecticut woods (and I make that distinction for anyone who has been lost in CT.. it sux). These woods are somehow magickal, like the ones in the movies where you can walk down the same path everyday, and then one day see a small cottage off in the shadows. yeah, they're like that. heh.

Five years.. i've been going to HHG. Five years is a long time for a Sagittarius to do anything... let alone stay with one group of people. And this year, was amazing. Yeah. i say that every year... forgive me, my 8th house is in Capricorn, I like it when a good thing lasts. Cuz it never seems to.

I was so emotionally raw by the time I arrived at HHG it's a wonder I didn't spend all five days curled up in the fetal position in my cabin. From dealing with the pain from my family's challenges, to dealing with working as a manager in a startup company (that I love but is bleeding me out every week)... it just seemed to keep on coming all the way to the last minutes before I left.

We (Nelly and I) arrived on Thursday afternoon and unloaded a truckload of stuff. Yeah, I packed Eliot (my F150) with alot of stuff. I've never been one to rough it. Then we sat back and started meeting people. But remember: Dark Moon Approacheth! We're meeting people, talking, sharing stories.. and it's DM. The time when normally we are holed up in the temple wrapped in blankets and shouting at black candles until all our pains are flushed out. No.. we're out meeting people and being open. Wow. That should have tipped me off to the changes in the energies that year.. but I just wrote it off to being so happy to be away.

Then we went out and met speakers.

This is the uber-cool thing about HHG.. you actually get to sit around and drink mead..wine..beer with published authors, elders, and leaders in the pagan and magickal community. And not light banter and idle chatter.. this is serious conversations that can go on for 30 minutes to an hour. These people are real, powerful, and there to share. This is like spiritual gold.

The opening ceremony at HHG is always really powerful. So this year was no exception. But the energies kept pulling at me... the fire circle, the drumming.. I did so little of that last year that I was shocked at how strong the energies were this year. Wow. Thursday night was the night I exorcised my demons. Having my IC in Leo means I basically filet myself on the altar of community love and connections. I give until I'm bled dry in the name of the desire to share a loving connection. It's not sexual thing, so don't go there.. it's a brotherly..sisterly love thing. And it's my thing. Luckily, one of my spiritual brothers has a big heart too..so when i said some not-so-loving things to him, he forgave me. See? I told you this community was cool.

HHG attracts real people. The people who run this retreat know what they're doing, and they bring in real speakers who have walked the walk.

Did you know that Janet Farrar has a wicked sense of humor and is an amazing story teller? *grin* Oh, yeah.. it's probably fairly easy to guess because she's travelled the world and experiences so much everyday.. but still... to sit and listen to her voice pitch and dance as she tells a story or a joke is a really cool experience.

Did you know that we've got an amazingly powerful collection of authors, teachers, and elders in New England that are all within a few hours drive? But I digress...

The rituals were powerful, not in the "knock you on your butt and make you float for hours" powerful.. but the "deeply woven into your bones so you will feel the after effects for months" kind of powerful stuff that I expect from Dark Moon energies.

I met this amazing teacher named Ivo Dominguez.. triple Sag.. just so grounded and loving in everything that he said and did that it blew me away. I'm the biggest cynic on the planet when it comes to meeting new people, especially teachers. I'm hellishly hard on teachers, because I believe that too many people do the "fake it until you make it" thing when they write a book. Ivo is the real deal, this guy knows so much that I wanted to shrink down and climb inside his head for a month until I could get a handle on how far his knowledge reaches. Of course, yes, I've got a Sun-Venus conjunction in Sag in my natal chart.. but I've met alot of Sagittarians that I can't stand. Ivo felt like a long lost teacher.. kinda like meeting Yoda only much more attractive! *laugh*

Trance prophesy ritual has been breathtakingly powerful both times I've been a part of it.

The journey to the moon temple -- this will be impacting my work for Months if not years. WHOA... and don't tell me that anyone ELSE can lead that meditation like Janet can.. because I've been in hundreds of meditations.. and I gotta give props to the woman who can just *craft it right* like breathing.

Laughed with Orion, he feeds my heart with his accent from home. I know he loves everyone, and just wants to clone himself so he can share more with more people. *smile* I've never heard anyone say anything negative about Orion, and how many people can you say THAT about in the pagan community? Not many.

Those currents just peeled me back, left me skinless but happy. I bled out pain and fear like someone had cut an artery. And what was left behind was a more honest woman.. and a much happier one too.

the softest, most amazing blessing of HHG are my spiritual family: Cori, whose smile could melt anyone's heart (and it usually does)... Courtney, whose spirit is totally unstoppable... Tish, who is just the quintessential water woman, she flows with everything but can spot B.S. at 20 paces... Sally, whose deep thoughts and deep feelings remind me that there is nothing to fear in the dark... Gina, whose sheer strength of will to overcome obstacles and pain makes me silent in wonder... Glen, whose connection to spirit makes him more authentic in his magick than people twice his age... Lilith, the powerful woman who reminds me that shame is a vice that no priestess needs... Stephen, the noble stallion who stands silently beside me when I'm at my worst and keeps me from harm...

These magickal people have helped me give birth to myself so many times that I feel like they know me better than my own family does.

So if you're curious.. and you want to see where I went and what it looks like, check out www.harvesthomegathering.com.

If you want to come with me next year, I won't be surprised. But remember, this is the place where we begin our journey inward.. so as wise Yoda said when Luke asked "What's in there?" ..

.. "Only what you take with you."

Is I sit here and listen to the This Week in Astrology podcast,  I realize that this week is the time every year when I spend time with myself and in an enviornment of loving supportive pagan energy.   During Labor Day weekend this year,  I will be attending Harvest Home Gathering 2008.   Every year I spent four to five days in the woods with a small, but lively group of pagans of all sorts.  It's a challenging experience in that we're in unheated cabins,  but we like to be adventurous and closer to nature so these cabins and this location are perfect for this kind of work. 

So many of the speakers at HHG are the leaders and the primary authors in the Wiccan\Pagan\Magickal community that it's hard NOT to learn something over the course of the time that we are there.  

The staff at HHG is an amazingly hard working group of down to earth and loving people who really take what they're doing seriously.  They are an inspiration and a heart warming group to behold.

Mercury entering Libra on Thursday - I do adore Libra energies,  so creative, loving, and balance.  Having my rising sign be Gemini,  wherever Mercury is astrologically affects me a great deal,  and Mercury in Libra brings happy, warm vibes. YaY.   This will help alot with the Dark Moon in Virgo,  and the Mercury Square Pluto energies that can bring a bit of a challenge to communication.

When Venus enters Libra Saturday,  we get to experience some powerful energies for relationships, creativity, and therapuetic work.  What a great astrological occurrence for a group of people who are spiritually seeking answers! 

The New Moon\Dark Moon event on the 30th,  the sabian symbol is of a five year old taking their first dance lesson.  This energy supports the work of learning the cultural rules of a society before charging ahead,  or learning from an elder or a master as one starts off on a new path.  Luckily I am attending HHG to learn from some teachers of Tantra. I've been reading alot on Tantra, but I get the chance this weekend to actually hear real masters in Tantra teach and speak.  I will be happily assuming the role of the student this weekend.

There are some challenging aspects for this weekend as well,  with Pluto squaring Mercury on Wednesday,   and then Venus squares Pluto on Friday.  This are fast moving aspects that pose a great opportunity for us to examine our deep, inner truths around communication and around creativity and love.    They are also good opportunities to make money,  if the challenges posed by Pluto are overcome.  In both cases,  the devil is in the details... so I'll be checking and double checking what I say and how I say it... and also what i hear from others.  

I'm looking forward to this experience,  as I always do.   Because I know that my spirtual growth is healthier when I spend a little time in the community without being a leader, a teacher, etc.  It is always important for any teacher to spend time regularly as a student so that they remember what it feels like to learn,  and why they became a teacher in the first place.   It's also good and healthy for anyone who is pagan to talk to others who are pagan because it helps alleviate the "minorty perspective"  or the feeling that we are all alone in our spiritual passions and beliefs.  Yes, it's great to just hang out with other pagans.  :)

Mars is the planet of intiatory energies. Go! Do! Now!  It's the energy planet in general.. and right now it's transiting my 4th house along with Saturn.  What does this cause:  oh all kinds of good things.  *heavy sarcasm*

First off, I have a stellium in Virgo in my 4th house in my natal chart.  That means that my childhood was turbulent and I moved alot (Mars\Pluto\Uranus).  It also means that my childhood had\has a profound impact on changing me.  

Now.. Mars has arrived and joined Saturn in this little party.   So what do I have?  A HUGE challenge to face with regards to HOW I am nurtured,  WHAT nurtures me and what doesn't,  and HOW I relate to my family.  

Family:  Those people who are in your life through no conscious choice of your own,  OR who you've elected to tether yourself to for the rest of your life for one reason or another.  In short,  Mothers, Fathers, Sisters, Brothers, Sons, Daughters, etc.  We get the idea, right?

Enter Mars --->  Big energy.  Nuclear reactor kind of energy.  Saturn = Focus!  Discipline!  What ARE you doing and why are you wasting so much time and energy? *laughter*  My 4th hosue is in metaphorical Boot Camp.  Now! Now! Now! Move! Move! Move!

I'm exhausted and the full force of it hasn't hit yet.  The Eclipse on August first will prove to be an amazing catalyst for all of this because... *drum roll*  It's in LEO,  and LEO is the ruler of my 4th house.   I will be in some kind of blender by then...

... Hey,  it could be a GOOD blender.  I could see some changes in my family that I've never seen before!! I could find out that all the changes, challenges, and choices that I went through as a kid are pannign out beautifully for me as an adult!  *grin*

In the meantime,  like any GOOD astrologer.. I'm USING the energy.  I'm cleaning and organizing my physical home (Virgo like organization),  I'm working out every day (Mars energy needs to be released),  I'm re-evaluating my plans for finishing renovation projects on my house (Saturn, Uranus energies).   What am I doing with my family?  *blush*  Uhhhhh... I'm plannign to GO out and DO things with them:  go to the zoo,  go to the beach. ETC.

Now.. if I could just figure out a slick way to get my husband and I to STOP competing at everything... *sigh*

Do we ever really leave our past behind?

So much happens in life that leaves an impression on our hearts,  I often wonder if we ever really leave our pasts behind.. or if the term "past" is just something that we use to keep us from dwelling on things we can't change? 

Have you ever loved someone so deeply that no matter where you were in your life you felt you could love them again?  A romantic notion, some may say,  but the heart doesn't ackowledge time and space.  The heart isn't realistic,  and as the most powerful part of ourselves it can consume us with emotion and dissolve the boundaries of time and render us shaken and wide-eyed at the power of emotions.

I am always amazed at how much control\effect emotions have on human beings.  Pain, fear, love, passions...  these deeply felt emotions can embed us in patterns of behavior that remain unknown to us until the day when we can no longer afford to succumb to them. 

Looking at the patterns in people,  studying how to help them see the next step on their path... it has humbled me to the point where I know not how to proceed at times.  What I DO know is that there is a reason we honor the moon: emotions.  Emotions are the root of our choices,  they are the teacher of our values,  and the food that keeps the heart alive.  In honoring the moon Goddesses and Gods we are honoring the part of ourselves that cannot be tamed.  It can be translated into more civilized behaviors,  but never really tamed.  Emotions represent illusions to the logical mind,  but are the real world to the heart and soul.   How does one navigate between the two and then teach others to do so effectively?

I'm still learning the answer to that question.  If anyone cares to enlighten me with their thoughts,  I'm happy to learn from them as well.  Being an HPs means accepting that one is always a student,  always learning,  and always humbled by the eternity of the human heart.

Earth energies,  can you feel them?  There are many of them right now.  With so many planets in either Capricorn or Virgo,  it's hard not to turn one's focus to the things that support and endure.  

As I sit and work through the changes and challenges of growing up, I look back on the things in my life that provided a surprising amount of support and endurance.   I'm a member of a long line of women who trusted things more than people,  so I've had to do alot of work to break that unhealthy cycle.   Yet,  as with all growth,  I must befriend the demon and truly come to understand the fears that it represents.  Saturn in Virgo in my 4th house means I've got a nice long time to spend learning.   Saturn is the taskmaster of the planets.  He represents the energies of discpline, endurance,  and achievement in our lives.   His motto should be "Nothing worth achieving comes easy." Caroline Casey calls Saturn "the Ring Pass Not" planet of the solar system. 

It is tempting to always regard Saturn as the somber, melancholy energy of the aged wise-man.  But there is a power and a passion to Saturn's energies that must also be honored.  Saturn brings us the ability to endure,  the power to withstand great pressures and challenges and overcome.   He shows us how great beauty and inspiration can be found in breaking a challenge down into measurable, achievable steps and committing to taking those steps to achieve a well earned reward.

My childhood was turbulent.  A child of the 60s and the hippie revolutions,  my Scorpio mother thought nothing of carting me all over Southern California and Mexico between 1970 and 1975.  When she finally landed someplace for longer than a year,  we were in Virginia.  We were also with a new man who happens to be a Virgo.  Anyone who knows anything about astrology can guess how a young, free-spirited Sagittarian child got along with perfectionist Virgo step-father.  Can you say explosive? I knew that you could! *smile*  Don't even ask about the Uranus-Mars-Pluto stellium in Virgo in my 4th house. Yikes!

Yet, there was love there.  It took me decades of self-examination, spiritual growth, and counseling to see that everyone does the best job that they can with what they have.   Wisdom, endurance, patience..   these "earthly" gifts come from Saturn and from the earth signs of the Zodiac.  And in the end that was how I learned about the deep passion and love that Saturn can bring:  through endurance and patience. 

Today I sit and smile as Saturn and Mars join the powerhouse trio of planets that I have in Virgo.  I've learned many of the lessons that they have to teach,  but even though I know I'm nowhere NEAR done, I smile at the next phase of my life -- and how I will inevitably look back on this time and see how far I've come and how much the Saturnian energies helped me learn to value the things that endure. 

With my ruling planet, Jupiter, being retrograde in Capricorn I'm looking backward to gain inspiration for my future.  I see the 100 yr old Victorian Farm house that my parents (now divorced) bought in Virginia. It's falling apart,  much like their original dreams for that house fell apart when they couldn't figure out how to make their relationship work.  My brother and sister were raised in that house, yet they are too young to really take on such an albatross.  So my husband and I are considering doing that in five years or so.  My dream,  from the time I was a very young girl,  was to live on a farm with horses,  and a beautiful home where everyone could come and stay and share the holidays together.  This dream will take alot of time, money, endurance and patience to achieve.  So I am in conversation with the planets in Virgo and Jupiter in Capricorn to find out just how much of those things will be needed,  and in turn how much we will need to sacrifice to make my dream a reality. 

In the end,  the faith that I recieve from my lessons from the Earth signs and the Earth planets is this:  while we may not know exactly what will happen in our lives we do know that something will catch us when we fall.  And the things that catch us more often than not are the ones that we need to nurture and develop,  for they have the honor of being our shelter from the storms of life.

Namaste.